At the moment, I am a fairly healthy individual who has no family history of ovarian, breast or pancreatic cancer. I get that some people don’t understand the implications of my having the germline mutation BRCA2. To them, my reactions seem extreme and emotionally driven. Who, after all, chooses to have major surgery when there is nothing currently wrong with them?
Some days, I feel like I am living in two completely different realities. In one, I am acutely aware of what lay before me and am strategizing a path forward to mitigate my risks. My conversations with my doctors, husband, friends, cancer survivors and fellow BRCA women guide and encourage me.
In the other reality, I have moments when I feel a little crazy. I wish I could be like those who do not understand. I wish I could simply invoke willful ignorance and pretend that everything is just as it was three months ago.
But that is not how or who God made me. I do not hide from the truth. I listen to my doctors who know better than anyone the risks I face. I listen to the women who are currently battling cancer and say that they would have done anything to avoid their current suffering. I hear the fear in the BRCA women in their 20’s and 30’s who are facing much tougher decisions than I. And I mourn for those who had their lives cut short before the medical advances that now exist could have saved them.
I am fully aware and extremely grateful that I am not sick. That doesn’t make this a cakewalk. Writing helps me process my circumstances. Sharing it is an attempt to help others better understand. I know, however, that those who do not want to understand never will. I also know that life is hard. For everyone.
Trina Baughn 
Four weeks ago, a friend felt 100% fine. Now she’s got less than two weeks left. Cancer. Too bad we don’t all have two lives to lead, or magical do-overs, so we can try different options. But such isn’t the case. Informed decision making is the best we can do. I’ll be getting us DNA testing soon, too.