Absolute Foolishness

This is one of those days that I hope my neighbors didn’t hear me. Sadly, it’s not the first time. I could make light of it and say that I lost my mind (which is what it felt like); but the truth of the matter is that I lost control and acted like a complete fool.

The call went something like this:

TR: “Mom, I stopped by work and they want me to work tonight.”

Me: “Have you finished your assignment?” (calm)

TR: “No. But I can get it done when I get off.”

Me: “No, that won’t work. Did you already tell your boss that you would work?” (still calm)

TR: “Yes.”

Me: “How long do you think it’s going to take you to finish your assignment?” (still calm)

TR: “About 3 hours”

Me: “I don’t see it happening. There’s just no way. You can’t work tonight.” (still calm)

TR: “But I have to – I’m already on the schedule.”

Me: “You said you weren’t on the schedule…that you were asked to work. Which is it?”

TR: “I was on the schedule, I just didn’t know it.”

Me: No longer calm.

You see, he is down to the wire on a class. It is almost the end of the grading term and his grade (pass or fail) for his most challenging class hinges on a final assignment that is due tomorrow. Note that this is the 3rd term of the year and he’s been hanging on by a thread all year long in this class. He has steadily worked on the assignment for a week and was to complete it tonight, his first night off in 6 days. Only, despite my repeated requests that he find out what his schedule from his new job is and despite his repeated assurances that he was off tonight, somehow he misunderstood. He is on the schedule and thus will not have much time, and even less energy, to complete this vital assignment.

We are at an impasse. I have no real recourse. It is unlikely that he will complete the assignment. This is not the first time we’ve hit this particular wall. Though he insists he can stay up all night if he has to, history has proven that to be an impossible feat for him to accomplish. Telling him that he cannot work isn’t really an option either since that would dictate that he be even more irresponsible, with a job he’s only had for a week. So what can I do? Nothing but yell and scream like a damn fool.

He’s a good kid. I know, who doesn’t believe that about their own kid? He really is though. He isn’t in to half the messes that many of his younger peers are into. He is a smart, funny, loving, courteous, young man. We insisted that he get a job for a few reasons: to be responsible for his own bills, to learn how to juggle multiple obligations, to learn the basics of working in/for a business, to appreciate what his education can or can’t do for his future, and to disable him from wasting countless hours on Facebook, texting and TV. But if DH & I can’t get our act together and figure out how to just let him fail, I worry that we’ll undermine our own efforts.

1 Comment

  1. I know how you feel Trina, After many years of stress and agony (along with many happy and wonderful times as well) My boys finally taught me that I can do my best but they will make their choices in life and must have serious failures as well as success in order to really learn.Perhaps a failure might teach a powerful life lesson. You have my prayers and sympathy. Now my young men are grown and all have jobs and none are in jail. Praise the Lord!

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